One Day at a Time!

This was a gift from our family friends Kathy Porath and Donald Knowles!  Thank you!

One day at a time.  One day at a time.  This is what I keep repeating to myself every single day.  Something I used to do a lot is worry about things days, weeks, months, or even years into the future.  Andrew can vouch for me on that.  It doesn't make any sense!  Now don't get me wrong, I have my many moments, but I think by learning to trust in God, he has allowed me to be happy one day at a time.
My 6th grade teacher (who just so happens to be one of my favorite teachers growing up), who is fighting cancer, has reached out to me.  She told me that she wakes up happy every single day.  She has been a huge support and inspiration to me!  I've learned it's a choice to wake up and be happy.

I don't want you to think I'm living in rainbows and cotton candy... (My steroids would enjoy the cotton candy part haha).  However, something I have found to help me is my little morning routine (I just started doing this, so it isn't really a routine yet). Right when I wake up, I read my daily devotional and I pray.  I always pray to be positive and to have a good day.  I also pray to have a good night, because that is where I struggle the most.  Finally, I tell God that I trust him and working to trust him even more.  I tell him that I love him, I love myself, and I thank him for helping me through this situation.  I've done this since yesterday and let me tell you, I feel GOOD!

I started doing this after watching Joyce Meyer.  She does something similar to this everyday.  The reason I started doing this was because since getting home from my last hospital stay, I have been having decent days, but REALLY rough nights.  It would hit around 6:30 PM and I would become negative and very agitated.  If anything didn't go right, I would freak out.  If I dropped my phone... BOOM... I'd get mad.  If someone said something wrong... BOOM... I'd snap.  Also, I would start itching and getting stomach cramps.  In particular, on Monday I became very worried and upset about not being able to work.  I want to meet my students and get to know my coworkers.  I was a mess.  Monday night was not pretty.  After my new routine, Tuesday went fantastically.  All day I wrote thank you cards, which I LOVE doing.  At night, I had some itching and stomach cramps (from the medicine), but my attitude was a lot better.  When I thought I was about to freak out, I prayed.  I struggled to get to sleep a little bit, but once I was out, I was all good.  Thank you God for helping me.

So, today marks the day that I've been home from the hospital for a week.  At this point I was still in the hospital, but I got home later in the day last week.  Last Thursday, I felt like an 80 year old lady... maybe older.  I could barely sit up in bed and get out of one of my low couches.  Bathing was stressful and more work than I cared for.  Fast forwarding to today, I have accomplished a lot!

First, on Friday I had an act of kindness occur in my life.  Laura Strong, a fellow townsperson and Woodmore alumni, who is fighting breast cancer and WINNING... dropped off a bag of goodies for me.  She lent me an inspirational book that helped her, a journal, m'n'm's, a few hats that are really cute, and a Dammit doll, which cracks me up.  It is this little doll that is meant to slam against something if you are having a bad moment.  Laura- I've already used it! :)  She told me not to write her a thank you note... so I'll just say thank you on here!

Next, I went to my cousin's beautiful wedding on Saturday.  As you all know, I wasn't able to be in her wedding like I was supposed to be.  However, I actually was able to go and she listed me as her honorary bridesmaid!  I was honored!  It was an amazing wedding and she looked gorgeous!  One worry I had before going was the way I looked.  Not many people have seen me with all this steroid weight and with my shaved head.  It was scary; however, God must have been with me, because I had a peace about it.  I didn't really worry about what people thought of my weight and shaved head.  I just keep telling myself that it is temporary... the weight will come off, once I'm off the steroids and my hair will grow back!  I think this is one of my biggest struggles and something I have to tell myself OVER and OVER!  (Here are a few pictures from the wedding!)

Anyways, I wasn't sure if I would be able to attend the reception, but I did.  The food was delicious and it was fun to see some of the wedding festivities and family.  However, "sundowner" Erica hit a wall at about 7ish.  I just got really tired and very emotional.  That is when we decided to leave.

The next day was pretty rough.  It kind of felt like I was hit by a truck.  So, for most of the day I was in bed napping or just watching T.V.  Kristen and Cory's wedding was totally worth going to, though.  It was nice having Tarah, Garrett, and Andrew home for the weekend.  On Sunday, Tarah worked a ton on my bridal shower invitations.  She's making them ALL homemade!  She has a Cricut machine and is working so hard on them.  Andrew watched the Browns game, while I napped and I watched a tiny bit of it.  Go Browns!  I kind of snapped at him sometimes, because he would jump up and start shouting.  It scared the crap out of me!

Yesterday and today have been great days!  Good news... I am tapering off my steroids.  Soon I will be off them completely.  Unfortunately, I may be put back on a light dosage during radiation.  I am feeling a little (and when I say little, I mean a little) less hungry.  Another milestone is I walked up and down a flight of stairs for the first time since my last two surgeries.  It was slow, but I accomplished it and was proud.  I am going to do it again today!  My Neurosurgeon said to not yet push things to 100%, but rather 80%.  I would estimate that in one week's time, I feel like a 70 year old.  Maybe next week I will feel 60!

Tomorrow I will be meeting with my Infectious Disease doctor and my Neurosurgeon.  So, another trip to Columbus and I get to see Andrew!  My Neurosurgeon may take out some of my sutures, if they look ready.  Yes, instead of staples, I have sutures!  I like them better... we have to keep that fluid in my head and from leaking!  Staples just didn't do the job!  The shunt is actually the real reason why my head is NOT filling up with fluid (no jello-head) and not leaking.  Thank you, shunt!  My Infectious Disease doctor is going to let me know when I can get off these antibiotics.  I am on extremely strong antibiotics and I'm ready to be off them.  One of them has been giving me stomach cramps like crazy, especially at night!  Please pray everything reports back normal and I am given the go ahead to start chemotherapy and radiation in 2 weeks!  Let's keep moving forward! :)

I will give you an update ASAP after my appointments tomorrow... not sure if it will be tomorrow!  Thank you again to everyone who is sending me their thoughts and prayers, as well as cards/flowers!  God Bless you all!

With all my trust in the Lord,
Erica Jacobs