A little of this and that

It's been awhile since I've updated my blog!  This post is just a little of this and that!  Since my last post I've gotten stronger and i'm still expecting God to heal me.  I haven't been questioning it as much either.  The more I tell myself he will heal me, the more I believe it.

Life is good. God is great.  I have only 1 more day of radiation and chemo!  I've come a long way since being diagnosed, having the infection (which we found out was bacterial meningitis), and my head leakages!  The second craniotomy and shunt has really done its job and I have God and Dr. Elder to thank for that.  If it weren't for them, then I would've had to put off treatments even longer, which could have been bad!  However, here I am with only 1 more day of radiation!  Overall, i've handled the treatments like a trooper.  This last week i've become a little more tired, but i'm not completely drained like they said I could be.  I usually take a good 2 to 2 1/2 hour nap a day! I have lost a lot of hair from the radiation, but only in the front... so i'm half bald.  "Hair grows back... hair grows back... hair grows back..."  But, oh how I miss my hair.  Sometimes when I'm washing my hair I forget it's short and try to grab my old non-exsistent hair.  Enough reminiscing of hair... hair grows back and i'm thankful to be alive!

Tomorrow is my last radiation treatment.  My mom, dad, and Andrew are coming to celebrate my last one (usually it is just my mom and I).  It's not going to be any different, except I get to ring a bell, take a picture, and everyone claps.  I'm excited though!  Almost all the people i've gotten to know in the waiting room have finished their treatments.  I've actually met two older gentlemen, who have GBM and they are doing well too.  See, it's really uncommon in people my age; rather, it's more common in younger kids and older people.  After tomorrow's appointment, we are going back to our hometown.  I have mixed emotions about this, because I won't see Andrew as much.  I got used to hanging out with him after he got home from work. We figured I might as well spend time with my mom during the day, rather than be alone.

Like I said in my previous blog post, I will have a month off from chemo.  Then, I will start back up for five days a week with double the dosage.  I will be doing that for two years.  Also, I will have my MRI on December 27th.  This will give us an idea of how I responded to treatment.  I'm expecting good news!

Now, I know i've made it clear in my blog about my weight increase.  I'm sure there are people who think it is ridiculous to worry about weight gain, when I "should" be worried about having brain cancer.  However, I think gaining that much weight in such a short amount of time was traumatizing.  Yes, of course it was even more scary to find out I had brain cancer, but for some reason God has given me A LOT of peace about it.  I've always been critical on my body, which I think is pretty common.  Remember when I wrote about being ravenous and hungry all the time?  During my time on steroids, I gained about 40 pounds and it came on rapidly!  My body has taken a beating.  Well, my eating has drastically changed since being on chemo and radiation.  In fact, I have to force myself to eat sometimes.  Since my mom and I have been living with Andrew I've lost about 9 pounds. Usually, we all walk every night.  We started out doing 20 minute walks (1 mile) and now I am up to 40 minute walks (2 miles)!  My goal is to be back to my normal size for our wedding in June.  At this rate, I know I can do it!  Once I lose about 10 more pounds, I am going to go wedding dress shopping!!!

Last weekend was one of the best weekends I've had since August!  Andrew, Tarah, Garrett, and I spent the weekend at my parents'.  It was one of the first weekends where I felt pretty normal.  We played cards, ate good food, and laughed a lot.  I wasn't too sick or too tired like I have been in the past.  Also, I was able to see all my grandparents.

This weekend was the first time I visited Andrew's whole family.  I've been really wanting to visit, but haven't felt well enough until now.  It was relaxing and just what I needed!  I love you Laura, Paul, Zach, Tanya (missed you), Louann, Mike, Marissa, Matt (missed you too), Megan, and of course Andrew's incredible grandparents!  Not only has God blessed me with an amazing man, but he has blessed me with amazing in-laws!

This week I am looking forward to the following:
- My last day of chemo and radiation on Wednesday
-Loving on my dog, Cooper.
-Spending time with my mom, dad, Tarah, and Garrett!
-The Jacobs Thanksgiving at my Aunt Cindy's and Uncle Jim's house!  We have so much to be thankful for.
-The Webb-Jacobs Thanksgiving at our house!
-Visiting my high school friends, Sarah and Emily!

I noticed that on Facebook many people are writing about what they are thankful for.  Since Thanksgiving is right around the corner, I figured it would be perfect to share what I am thankful for.  (No particular order... haha I know how my Dad's mind works)

1. I am thankful to have a close relationship with Jesus Christ our Lord.  This difficult situation has brought us closer together!  God has blessed me in so many ways!
2. I am thankful for Andrew Guess.  We have spent the last 6 years making memories and getting to know each other.  Our relationship has been put through the ultimate test and we've come out stronger.  Not only is he perfect for me, but he loves me for who I am.  I can't wait to marry my best buddy!
3. I am thankful for my mom and dad.  They are the most incredible parents!  My dad is hilarious, loving, caring, and loud!  I have a lot of his traits and as much as I deny it, i'm glad we're a lot alike.  My mom is nurturing, loving, funny, and just so sweet.  I've loved spending the past 6 weeks with her day in and day out!  Mom, thanks for coming with me to Columbus and taking me to my treatments!  I love you guys!
4. I am thankful for my sister, Tarah and my brother in-law, Garrett!  Tarah is the best sister and role model.  I've always looked up to her and still do.  She has been there for me through EVERYTHING in my life.  Garrett and I were love at first sight (haha).  Right when Tarah and Garrett became friends, we had a unique and hilarious relationship.  He is the best brother I could ever have and is perfect for Tarah.  Also, he puts up with my crap... then again, I put up with his!  I love you both!
5. I am thankful for ALL my family! We've grown closer in the last few months and I'm so grateful.  I have so many fun memories growing up with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.  I'm blessed to have so much support from them during this difficult time.  Lastly, i'm thankful I get to spend Thanksgiving at my Uncle Jim and Aunt Cindy's house!!!
6. I am thankful to my future in-laws.  The Guess family has been a huge part of my life for 6 years.  They treat me like I am their daughter, sister, grand-daughter, niece, and cousin.  I feel thankful that Paul and Laura raised such an incredible man.  Also, I'm blessed to have another amazing brother-in law (soon to be).  Similar to Garrett,  Zach and I have been really close from the start.  He even has an super cool girlfriend, who I just adore!  Love you Tanya!
7. I am thankful for my past, present, and future students!  My students are the reason I teach... plain and simple.  The bonds I've made, as a teacher, are very special to me.  I love teaching them new things, whether it is reading, science, social studies, or life skills.
8. I am thankful for my past and present co-workers.  I miss my Perry co-workers dearly.  Even though I was there for one year, I have made life long friends!  I'm grateful for my new Galloway Ridge co-workers.  Even though I've only met a handful of them, I know what kind of people they are.  They have decorated/set up my classroom, donated sick days, and bought/cooked/delivered meals to us!
9. I am thankful to be alive!  Each and every day that I wake up, I am thankful to be here.  The odds were stacked against me and I'm here today!  Thank you Lord!
10. I'm thankful for true friends.  I'm not a person who has a big group of friends.  Throughout the years, friends have come and gone.  However, the ones that are true friends have stuck around!  Whether I see them every day or once a year, I know that they are my friends! :)  You know who you are!
11. I am thankful for everyone who has supported me throughout my journey.  My friends, acquaintances, and complete strangers.  I appreciate the cards, gifts, text messages, phone calls, facebook messages, emails, and hospital and home visits.  It makes a difference and has not gone unnoticed.  Thank you for all the prayers and love!
12. I am thankful for my dog, Cooper!  He is just so darn cute and puts a smile on my face.
13. I am thankful for my television shows and music!  It makes me happy!
14. I am thankful for good food.  Yum!
15. I am thankful for the doctors, who with God's help have saved my life! Thanks Dr. Elder, Dr. Mullen, Dr. Guiou, and Dr. Newton!
16. I am thankful for all the fantastic nurses I've had. :) In particular, Jess and Ericka!

Thanks for reading!

With all my trust in the Lord,
Erica

If You Believe, Miracles Will Happen

"Dreams become miracles after you believe."  This quote was written on a clock that Andrew's grandparents gave me.  I love this saying, because I believe miracles can happen.  The Bible describes how Jesus healed many people.  In John 9, the Bible talks about how Jesus healed a blind man by rubbing saliva and mud on his eyes.  Then, Jesus told him to walk to the Pool of Siloam and he would be healed.  He was healed.  Another miracle happened when a sick woman touched Jesus's cloak and was instantly healed.
The other day a wise friend and I were talking about these two miracles in relation to me.  I told her that I pray everyday to be healed and I believe it is possible.  She told me that she expects me to be healed.  She said that I could be like the blind man, who had to walk a ways in order to become healed.  Just like him, I may have to overcome some obstacles (like chemo and radiation) to become healed.  Or I could already be healed just by believing and asking God, just like the woman who touched his cloak.
I have a lot of life to live.  Yes, when someone looks up GBM... it is scary.  I'll be honest, i've been sucked into "googling" GBM and couldn't help but feel discouraged and scared.  However,  I talked to my family and from the start we've said that I am not a statistic... I am a believer in God and I trust that he will take care of me.

Currently I am half way done with chemo and radiation.  My last day is November 27th and then I have a month of recovery.  Once that month is over I start double the dosage of my chemo for 5 days out of every month for 2 years!  It was a shock to me, but whatever it takes to be healthy.  Everything is going really well and I feel blessed to have my mom living in Columbus with Andrew and I.  One new radiation side effect is that I am losing hair in the areas they are radiating.  I feel like a molting chicken!  Luckily, i've been spoiled by my parents and Andrew, because they bought me some cute hats!  Also, Tarah and Garrett invested in a dozen or so scarves and headbands!

Speaking of losing something, my dad lost about half of his pinky finger last weekend.  It was pretty scary when my mom came into the house screaming, "Dad cut his finger off!  We're going to the hospital!"  I came to find out it was pinched off, rather than cut off.  He had surgery this week and is doing well.  Please pray he continues to heal!

I would like to thank the Galloway Ridge teachers for making/buying my family and I delicious meals. It helps out so much. Also, thanks to the Perry staff members for the prayer quilt.  I loved reading all your messages and verses.  Thanks to Laura (my future mother-in-law) and Mary for visiting me this week!

I am thankful for my family and my future in-laws.  Thanksgiving is coming soon and I can't wait to give thanks for all the blessings and spending time with my loved ones.  I'm so thankful that we have all grown so much closer.  Please keep my Uncle Jim and his family in your prayers.  He is fighting cancer, as well.

With all my trust in the Lord,

Erica Jacobs